We're at Week 39 and definitely making progress. I saw Dr. Lai on Thursday, and I am starting to dilate. It's still a very small amount, but the realization that I would be giving birth to our child very soon certainly became clear, and I was a little dazed and overwhelmed with the realization when it hit me in the doctor's office.
I fluctuate between two ways of experiencing this pregnancy:
1) this "in the moment" experience of the physical sensations - I can feel her every movement, I can feel her pushing downwards pretty intensely sometimes, I have contractions intermittently, she has definitely grown (7 lbs. 4 oz. two weeks ago!), and I feel pretty stretched and full these days
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2) I have this philosophical understanding that our daughter is growing inside, and she will be this amazing little human that we get to meet soon
But it's hard to know that I will be delivering her any day. It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that it's imminent, and that in a handful of days she will really be here. (Note, however, the suitcase in the photo...packed and ready to go to the hospital!) Just like in every other important scenario in my life, though, I think I've gone into "ready" mode, which is this very internal place of waiting. I'm relaxed but coiled for the moment, and when it comes, all this energy arises that helps me experience it with full awareness and ability. In some ways, it keeps me from reaching that mental knowing, but it lets me relax and just experience it when it happens, so I appreciate this approach.
One thing that helps with "The Wait," though, is keeping busy, and we did have a wonderful, busy 4th of July. Greg and I got to the beach in the morning for a surf session - him surfing and me watching, of course. We ran into a few of our friends while we were there and ended up all going to a fantastic breakfast afterwards in Seal Beach. We also went to our friends' annual 4th of July BBQ. Bridget and Darren always have delicious food and invite a good group of people that we've known since Greg was in grad school, and it was great to be there for a part of the evening. We left early, since by this time I was getting pretty tired, and we came back to our neighborhood to find all of the streets closed down and everyone sitting out in front of their houses shooting off fireworks! We pulled out chairs and enjoyed the show until the local fireworks display started, which we could see from our house. The whole neighborhood was alight with fireworks for a solid 2 hours, and it was pretty cool to see everyone hanging out together, having fun and enjoying being part of a community. We're so happy to live where we do now! It was also fun to think that Baby Mo's birthday will always be around this time, so she'll really get to enjoy the excitement of the holiday.
All in all, we had a great night, and we look forward now to finishing the baby room and getting ready for Grandma and Grandpa Camp to arrive in three days. They'll be here for a month, and I just can't wait to see them and have them here to help when Baby Mo comes. The Mo's also get back from their adventures in France in 3 days, so I'll feel like we have a green light for delivery once everyone gets closer to home. Countdown time.....
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